I like to think of myself as a law-abiding citizen.
Sometimes.
Majority of the time, I am an impatient brat who likes to get her way. I hate waiting for traffic lights to change, so I jaywalk. The law says that I cannot skip school, but somedays I just feel like staying home and not bothering with the world. It is also illegal for you to steal, but a store once did not ring me up for some shorts, and I walked right out [I did not know that they did not ring the shorts up until I was long gone!]. Participating in...wait -- I think I'll keep that one to myself. ;) Anyways, the point that I am trying to make is that I don't really like laws (except for the one that's keeping The Purge from happening). Laws irritate me because I like to be a little rebel. Plus, I hate being told what to do (maybe I am at the stage of being a teenager where I prefer to do the opposite of what I'm told?).
However, after it's all said and done, I still follow the stupid, stinkin' laws. The reason being that I prefer to keep my sorry tail out of jail. I doubt that I could last behind bars for three minutes, nevertheless days. And besides, I guess I can say that laws are implemented for a good reason. Okay. Some laws are implemented for a good reason. Other laws are just stupid and earn a 'are-you-effing-serious' reaction from me. Want to see some of the worst ones? Keep on reading.
1. Incestuous marriages are legal. (Alabama)
I don't know how to feel about this law. It's really disgusting, and I need to know what encouraged the government to pass it. Like, who thought, "Oh! It'd be really sane to let a dad and his daughter get married!" No no no no NO!
2. Men who deflower virgins, regardless of age or marital status, may face up to five years in jail. (Alabama)
Someone please explain to me how the hell this works. How else are virgins supposed to become deflowered? By a ghost? It's not like Alabama virgins are going to go out-of-state to lose their V-Card, and then return. How about #canunot. Seriously, who came up with this law?!
3. It is illegal to let your pig run free unless it has a ring in its nose. (Detroit)
Now correct me if I am mistaken, but I do not believe that people in Detroit own pigs. I lived in Detroit for fifteen years of my life and still attend school there, yet have never saw one pig. Never. And for this law to say in order for a pig that does not exist to run free in the D, it has to have a nose piercing. I am....I just...what.
4. It is a crime to share your Netflix password. (Tennessee)
This one is not foolish, but I felt the need to share it. I feel as if all states need to have this law considering that if more than 4 (I believe) networks are logged onto Netflix, any others will be locked out (first hand experience). It's not okay. Not one bit. Once you give your password out to one person, then it'll circulate, and you will end up paying for everyone but yourself to watch Netflix. I commend you Tennessee.
5. A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice-cream cone in his/her pocket. (New York)
Of course buying an ice-cream cone and then shoving it into my pocket is the first thing that comes to my mind when I visit New York. Or anywhere, for that matter. Especially on Sundays! I just cannot help the urge that comes over me to do it. The end result is so sticky, and it always leaves a huge mess in my pants pocket, but who cares! It's pretty awesome. You have to try it the next time you see an ice-cream cart/store/truck.
6. You may not fart in public after 6 p.m. (Florida)
But I have a farting schedule, and I always have to do it at precisely 6:01 p.m.! What do I do now?! #mostdefaseriousquestion I mean, it's like you haven't watched How I Met Your Mother. New relationships mean that I cannot fart in front of said significant other, essentially making me go out and fart outside at precisely 6:01 p.m.! WHAT CAN YOU NOT GET ABOUT THAT!?
7. Criminals must give their victims 24 hour notice either orally or in writing, and explain the nature of the crime to be committed. (Texas)
Well, don't you think that if you were to give me a twenty-four hour notice, I would be long gone from wherever you found me? Or my home....or the state, completely? Just a thought, though, but I appreciate the warning! Continue to be as chivalrous as you have been, and maybe someone might just allow you to victimize them. Just maybe.
8. Horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants. (Iowa)
I need to know what horse eating a fire hydrant encouraged this law to be made. And now that I am thinking about it, I am pretty sure if a horse did want to eat a fire hydrant, then he/she would. I doubt a ridiculous law (that a horse can't even read or comprehend in any sort of way) would stop a big ass horse from doing what he/she wants. Moreover, I highly doubt that a horse would want to eat a fire hydrant, though....
Tune: Homewrecker (Acoustic) by Marina & The Diamonds
About the Author
Student, aspiring graphic designer, and traveler, Krishaun Burns is a 17-year old blogger. She enjoys writing, photography, reading, and speaking her mind. You'll find her on various social media and Five98s.
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