How Do You Trust People?
"Act like you trust people, but don't." - [unknown]
Although I do not find that quote completely accurate, I feel as if my life has come down to that point. The point where I simply do not care anymore. The part of my life where everyone is just...there, but not in my life anymore, y'know. I feel as if I cannot trust anybody because everybody that I know judges me in a way that makes me shrink down and not want to bother anymore. I am either lectured about what I say (cough: parents), thought to be melodramatic, or weird (cough: people who go to my school). So, essentially, all of my feelings, all my thoughts...yeah, they're stuck in my head. And no, I cannot post most of it on this here blog because there is a fine line between what I can and cannot share (i.e. oversharing). So, seeing that quote above has really struck me hard in my face. It sums up exactly what I now know.
I can pretend to trust [some] people, yet stay very cautious about what comes out of my mouth. Everything I say will be said with preface simply because the reaction can be honestly...well...horrible, and that is not something that I am willing to see/hear. I'm done worrying about what others will think or say about my feelings. I'm done.What are some things that you are simply done with putting up with? How do you deal with being judged by [what seems like] everyone (even if it's only a few)? Do you shut down and block others out, or do you embrace the situation and confront the judgement? I would love to hear your insight on this topic as it's something that I am struggling to work on. I want to stop blocking people out, yet it's such a struggle with all of the judgement, where I essentially end up feeling claustrophobic in my own world.
Song Choice: 'King Park' by La Dispute. You need to listen to the lyrics of this tune. It is very interesting... I remember I first heard this song on a Tumblr blog, and...well, I was intrigued. I had to replay it tons (with the lyrics pulled up) to actually get what this song means. It's an amazing discovery once you do!
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