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I have never really had a "roommate." That is if you do not count when my sister and I were young children and had to share a room, or when we lived with my Granny for awhile and were in the same room, yet technically not in the same room....does that make sense? Probably not, but I am going to pretend that it did anyway.
Roommates are a tricky thing. You will either get one that you love or one that you hate. Luckily, while at Stanford, I got one that I "like." I do not absolutely adore her because, hey, we all have some quirks that we get annoyed with and hers just bother me a tad bit more. BUT! But, I can tolerate her enough to the point of actually having decent conversations and not wanting to choke her while she sleeps. Maybe this is a too violent thought that I should have just kept in my head. Oops? Since it's out there, I figured why not continue on. I want to share some tips and thoughts that I have for making the roommate situation a lot better. Hopefully it isn't horrible to begin with, but to create a smoother process, here are 8 tips:
1. Converse online or over the phone before move-in day. Unless you have the disadvantage of not knowing who your roommate is beforehand (which is what happened to the Stanford Summer College Students this year, so me), you need to talk to your roommate before y'all meet face-to-face.
2. Create a roommate contract. This can include things such as what can and cannot be done between y'all designated study times, things involved sexiling (kicking your roommate out to have sex), when the blinds can be open, when and how loud music can be played, can clothes/food be shared, etc. This kind of helps to foreshadow future challenges that may occur. Instead of fighting about it, you guys can just pull out the contract and point out specifically, "Well, here, we agreed on...yada yada yad."
3. Assign certain tasks to each other. For instance, my friends (Tiff and Ray) have decided who takes out the trash and who vacuums. It helps everyone feel as if they are doing something, and if that something does not get done, it is not an open debate about who was supposed to do what.
4. Be considerate. I tend to listen to my music loud, which can easily be heard even when I am wearing earphones. At night, I really do try to turn my music down so that I cannot even hear the music from my earphones when I have it out of my ear. I'm trying to be considerate (although it slowly kills me, haha). If my music is still too loud (which it might be because some days, welp), then she will politely ask me to turn it down. I appreciate that! Talking about things and being considerate is a major rule for when you have a roommate.
5. Do not touch or take what is not yours unless it is offered or set upon. This includes food and clothing! Thank God this has not happened to me, but some people don't get so lucky. Always, always ask.
6. Be mindful of each other's schedules. This helps to eliminate any problems with friends coming over, music, studying, etc. I know that my roommate studies a lot throughout the week, so I do not invite my friends over into my dorm room then. (It's not like I ever do this really, though. But on Saturday I did; Ant and I watch The Parent Trap that morning.) And my roommate is not obnoxiously loud when she is returning from being out at night, and I am going to sleep at night.
7. Communicate! There is nothing more awkward than having to live with someone, yet never speaking to them. Conversations help. Joke, laugh, enjoy! You'll be living with that person for however the allotted time is; you want to feel comfortable in your room, not stuffed up.
8. Invite each other places. Even if you two do not hang out with the same group of friends, if your roommate complains about being bored or something of that nature and you're going out, invite them! Even if they decline, it's better to know that you extended the offer. (Please be reminded that you should only invite them if it is not a private and specific event that no extras or strangers are invited to.)
Tune: Spectrum by Florence + The Machine
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